The buzzer sounds. Game time. The boys are pumped and the parents are fidgeting in the stands. But the coach is running late. "Dad, the ref says you can fill in for him till he gets here." And so begins the highlight of my Friday night.
"You're not going to love all the cursing." This is a warning from my teenage son. I've agreed to spend part of our road trip to Fort Myers familiarizing myself with his music. Rap, that is. My car speakers are begging for mercy. "Sorry the bass is going crazy," says the boy. We plow through an hour of his tunes and switch to mine. Now The Who are blaring, all power chords and frenetic drums and top-of-the-lungs screaming. "It's fine," he concedes, with zero conviction. He perks up when a Cure song starts, but not much. We return to his playlist, me sneaking the volume down. I tolerate it. He goes into the zone. "If I had to choose between one million dollars or music, I would choose music, definitely." We're worlds apart but oh so much alike.
ABOVE: A sliver of my boy's playlist. I have no clue what any of this is.
BELOW: Some of my tunes. Why can't he see the brilliance here?
The smooth tension of the wheels screaming down the pavement. The fleeting moments of acceleration and fluidity. The contours of the surface rippling through your body. Ever since I was old enough to stand on a skateboard, this has been one of my go-to pursuits of happiness. It's true, I'm a tad old for this now. But just look at this road directly in front of my house, the perfect slope for #longboarding. How lucky am I?
Scaring the neighbors with the evil-as-hell Astoria fuzz pedal from Stomp Under Foot.
Anybody out there like oysters? I've never been a huge oyster guy but I know a good one when I taste one. And I just indulged in a dozen of these bad boys, maybe the best I've ever had, at a local dive called Lee & Ricks Oyster Bar. Lightly steamed, super fluffy, just the right amount of briny flavor, and shucked right in front of me by a foul-mouthed young lady adorned with evil-looking tattoos.
"You're going to f...ing love these," my spunky server promised, "and when you're done, just throw the shells down here behind the bar."
How have I avoided this place until now? It's only three miles from my house, the house I've lived in for almost 18 years. I've known about it, heard good reviews, passed by the tacky exterior a thousand times. Today I simply did what had to be done.
Opened in 1950, in the same spot and in the same building it's in right now, Lee & Ricks is an institution in Orlando. Walking into this place is like walking back in time ... way back. Only with the freshest damn oysters in central Florida. "We probably go through about 300 bushels a week," explains another woman standing behind the bar. I learned that it takes four big buckets full of oysters to make one bushel, and that they get their famed oysters from the Apalachicola region of Florida's panhandle.
"Come back soon, OK?" said my f-bomb-dropping new friend as I stood up to leave. Oh, hell yeah, you know it.
If you pause, breathe deeply and drop everything that weighs you down, it's easy to be swept away in the spirit of the Florida Keys. The scenery is heavenly, medicinal really. Time no longer ticks and tocks, it oozes. The morning starts still and eerily quiet, then a wind picks up and you notice a faint hum of tires on the Overseas Highway. The day takes gentle shape and the moments evaporate into memory. The night gets so pitch black the sky crowds with stars you never knew existed, big, bold spotlights elbowing each other for position. A nice spring break getaway, and a whole lot more.
So many wonderful things happened in 2016. And so much crappy stuff, too.
"You just gotta roll with the punches," my wise mom instructs me routinely, and she's right.
I've never been much good at rolling with it but I try. I really do. If you ask my wife, she'll tell you I suck at it. She's right. The women in my life are always right.
All of this is just to say ... let's keep our chins up in 2017. I feel pretty sure all won't be flawless in the new year, but there's usually more than enough of the miraculous to balance everything out. Make the most of each day we're given, because each one is indeed a gift.
“What day is it?" asked Winnie the Pooh.
"It's today," squeaked Piglet.
"My favorite day," said Pooh.
The past several months have been a blur ... really.
It was February when I first went to the ophthalmologist complaining of hazy vision in my right eye. He diagnosed inflammation inside the eye and a small area of scar tissue on the retina. Using steroid drops made it better for a few weeks but it slowly deteriorated and by mid-summer, I was back at his office, frustrated and a little alarmed.
We did additional treatment and then, in a troublesome twist of fate, I suffered a detached retina in late August and underwent emergency surgery to repair it. By October the retina had stabilized but the scar tissue was creating significant distortion in my vision and becoming more and more difficult to bear.
On Election Day, as everyone else set their sights on the contentious presidential race, I crossed my fingers and went in for another surgery, this time to remove the scar tissue. So far, recovery is going well. Today, less than two weeks after that procedure, the vision in my right eye is improving little by little.
This is obviously not the kind of thing I'd want to manage alone. And thankfully I haven't had to. My employer and co-workers have been super supportive and I can't thank them enough. The Disney company is every bit as magical as our fans say we are (and then some). Of course, my wife Kjerstin is the star of this story. I knew I lucked out when I married her, and seeing her jump into action to take care of me just confirmed my belief that I have the most wonderful spouse on the planet. I'm very blessed.
We all hit rough patches. They come in many different varieties and severities. And sometimes they really throw us off the rails. But if we pay close enough attention, maybe we can realize that even these unexpected tests of personal fortitude bring some new level of understanding, resilience and hopefulness.
My vision isn't exactly crystal clear but what I see has never looked so amazing.
Apparently some player on the Miami Dolphins just did something terribly wrong. "You suck, Jordan," barked the peeved dude right behind me.
The game was off to a dawdling start. Plenty of running and helmet crashing, but few completions and a fair amount of generalized blundering. The first quarter was over without any points on the board.
Enter the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders. "Mom, dad is looking at the cheerleaders," my daughter finds it important to divulge. But aren't we all? Come on!
Meanwhile, in the time it took me to drain a single $8 can of Bud Light, the two super fans in front of me, in well-worn Dolphins jerseys and caps, had worked their way through at least four Heinekens apiece. One of them kept turning around to high-five me. That's cool. The best part was when he and his buddy held up their beers for a selfie. Not a selfie of themselves with their beers. A selfie of their beers. Just their beers.
"Next time put some freakin' arc on the ball," pipes up the guy behind me when a pass doesn't measure up to his standards.
I must say this game, a pre-season Dolphins vs. Falcons matchup at the Citrus Bowl, was big fun and certainly a unique opportunity for my family, given that NFL action is rare in Orlando. Everyone was in the sporting mood until ... just seconds into the third quarter ... wait for it ... "I want to go home," my little girl pleads softly, leaning her head against my shoulder. "I'm tired, and I'm tired of all this."
Some of you may have gathered that my son, Jackson, 13, has a thing for basketball. He's not bad at it, either. He also loves making videos. Pretty good at that, too. In this clip, shot on his iPhone, he combines his two passions to arrive at a very cool result. "This video is wonderful," I told him. "I guess," he said. "I guess it's all right."
All day long the sun burns and the heat builds until it becomes almost unbearable to even walk outside. The AC pumps and pumps but can no longer beat back the big bully pushing against our walls. The grass, dried-up and defeated, cries for somebody to do something, please.
Then this ...
Clouds gather and darken and lose their temper. Utter stillness gives way to sudden gusts thrashing through the trees. There are flashes and booms. Drops drip and then splatter and then finally ... finally ... the whole scorched mess is drenched.
People like me, the gawkers, are strolling quietly and scanning the makeshift memorials, solemn and stunned. Then I hear something. Sobbing. Not loud but heart-wrenching. A middle-aged man in tan shirt and jeans is leaning over one of 49 white wooden crosses, squeezing it as he cries.
Each cross bears the name, age and photo of one of the souls lost in this unspeakable tragedy. Several more crosses down the line, my eyes catch three simple words scrawled in cursive above the photo of another smiling young face: "Daddy loves you."
I know my city ... our city ... our nation ... will get through this by supporting each other and doing the right things. But at this moment, in the town I love so much, the pain is too real. Incomprehensible, really.
May kindness, respect and unity lift us out of this nightmare.
6:20 a.m, Orlando International Airport. Way too early and my second cup of coffee isn't really cutting it. I bet I forgot to pack something.
11:30 a.m., Denver International Airport. Hungry. Feed me.
3:45 p.m., Vancouver, British Columbia. This town is awesome and beyond beautiful. They say it always rains here but every time I visit I risk getting a sunburn.
2:30 p.m., on deck 10 of the Disney Wonder. Photo shoot with two of our officers and a couple of new friends from the Port of Vancouver.
5:45 p.m., sailing under the city's iconic 78-year-old Lions Gate Bridge toward the Straight of Georgia and ultimately the Inside Passage of Alaska.
10 a.m., inside the ship's ornate Walt Disney Theatre running through content and flow for this week's Crew Assembly. Video and slides loaded, check. Audio and lights adjusted, check. Closing show number rehearsed and ready, check.
4 p.m., navigating southeast Alaska's narrow, misty channels surrounded by greener-than-green islands and icy peaks in the distance. Whales surfacing on the starboard side. I imagine this is what the earth looked like at the dawn of creation.
3:20 p.m., Endicott Arm, Alaska, and a close encounter with Dawes Glacier. Un-freakin-believable.
10 a.m., docked in Skagway, Alaska, more than 900 crew members and officers gather in the theater for remarks by shoreside execs including an announcement of cool new elements coming to the ship this fall in dry dock. It's never lost on me how lucky I am to work with such talented people from all over the world.
2:45 p.m., ashore. Two-hour mountain bike rental, $21. Just me and the Last Frontier.
2:25 p.m., Juneau International Airport. Drizzly, downright dreary. Heading home. Looking at a layover in Seattle and a red-eye back to Florida.
5:44 a.m., stepping off Alaska Airlines flight 10 into the painful glare of Orlando International Airport. Spent the last five hours strapped in seat 12F next to a toddler who was remarkably well behaved. The squealing newborn next to him, not so much. Coffee is critical but the line at Starbucks is 17 miles long. Redirect to Duncan Donuts where the only person there is the guy behind the counter. "Large regular coffee, please," and a new day begins.
All told, approximately 8,015 miles.
You see the passion and anguish and frenzy in their faces. But you don't hear them say anything. They're too busy playing basketball.
The parents, on the other hand ...
"Go after the rebound, for crying out loud!"
"Come on, don't let 'em shoot!"
"Grab the ball ... GRAB it!"
"What's wrong with you, use the backboard!"
It was adrenalin overload in the stands today during our son's games (three of them, in fact). Lots of respectable moms and dads sitting calmly, then abruptly standing and yelling, then sitting again, grumbling about the refs or the absurdity of that last play. No sentence is spoken without an exclamation point. Here and there an expletive sneaks out.
At a crucial moment, one of the kids on our team sinks a three pointer.
It's an emotional see-saw ... for the players, yes, but mostly for the feisty older crowd on the bleachers.
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