GUITAR DAD

During a recent three-night trip to my native North Carolina, it was a great pleasure to spend quality time with my folks. Being in the same room with loved ones, eye to eye, sure beats talking on the phone or emailing.
 
We laughed a lot, shared family updates, retold old stories and broke bread. Lots of bread. In fact, among the most satisfying aspects of my visit were the culinary delights prepared so exquisitely by my mother.
 
Cheesy lasagna. Tangy beef stroganoff. Mouthwatering waffles. Delicious cheesecake. Even my mom's iced tea – which I know damn well comes from plain ol' Lipton tea bags – tastes immensely better than any other tea I've had.
 
Before my trip, my wife politely stated, "I wonder how many pounds you'll put on while you're gone." Very intuitive query, my dear.
 
In the end, I'd characterize my weight gain as minimal, perhaps completely unnoticeable. Maybe just a pound or two. Or three. All I know is I won't be cutting back on my exercise regimen anytime soon.